Top Ten Favoritest Funniest Kids’ Valentines for Chained Dogs

One of the hundreds of schoolchildren who have made Valentines for chained dogs — One of the hundreds of schoolchildren hard at work making Valentines for chained dogs

Looking for a Little Love this Valentine’s Day? You and a whole boatload of chained dogs, silently suffering in backyards all across America.

This week, during Dogs Deserve Better’s Have a Heart for Chained Dogs Week (February 7-14), we are pairing Valentines made by schoolchildren, scouts, and otherwise crafty people with educational brochures and mailing them to addresses of approximately 10,000 chained dogs—dogs who are lookin’ for just a little love.

All in the hopes that when dog caretakers get a look at these super-sweet Valentines—handmade especially for their dog—their hearts will expand too and they will be inspired to Free Fido, giving him/her an honored spot at their next holiday dinner.

But, as with anytime kids are involved, there is always potential for messages to go slightly askew, making for some giggles if not some outright guffaws. And so, I present to you my All Time Top Ten Favoritest Funniest Kids’ Valentines for Chained Dogs:

1. At Least Give Me Enough Chain to Reach the Hot Dog Stand.

This is one smart kid. He figures the dog is hungry, and if his/her owner won’t feed him, if he had enough chain he could get his own dang hotdogs.

2. I Like Food. Not Dirt. Love, Your Dog.

OK, something about this one just slays me. I can’t stop giggling when I read it.

Still laughing.

3. Let Me In or I Will Bite Your Children. P.S. I Have Rabies.

Granted, this one is a little threatening, but still pretty darn funny. And, he or she probably knows that chained dogs are 3x more likely to bite!

4. I Got You a Balloon. Will You Let Me In Now, Please!

While the balloon is funny, the dogs face really does me in. He’s so deadpan. This kid knows that gifts and flattery can sometimes get you everywhere.

5. Yo, Let Me In. [Appears to have a baseball hat on backwards even]. Yo Yo Please Let Me In. Also Get Some Food Up in this Joint. And this Collar is Choking My Neck. Also Get Water Yo.

Dogs in the Hood. ‘Nuf said.

6. I Promise to Spread the Love, Not the Fleas.

Come on, how cute is that? I’m not sure that’s a promise a chained dog can keep without a little flea medication, but I love the sentiment.

7. I’m Talking to the Cats. I Don’t Like Them. So Break the Chain And Let Me In. Please?

I think there’s even a little pic of the dog going after the cat in there? I guess he’s so desperate for someone to talk to he’s talking to the cats. And that’s just not good.

8. Don’t be Cruel and Freeze. Let Me In and I’ll Cuddle with your Knees. Come On, Don’t Be a Hater and Get Me Just to Impress your Friends and then Throw Me Outside.

I gotta love anything with the word ‘hater’ in it.

I think these last two were made by adults, but they’re still funny…

9. [Dude, you’re Holding Me Prisoner]

10. 1-800-HAVAHEART. Hello, It’s Your Dog. Can I Come In…

Haha. If that worked I’d buy them all cell phones!

To read more and donate for our Have a Heart for Chained Dogs Campaign, visit our web page at: http://dogsdeservebetter.org/Valentines2015.html.

Some of the Valentines we receive might even bring a tear to your eye; they’re sure to get an ‘Aw.’ These kids create such touching Valentines that I can’t help but think they have to melt the ice around a caretaker’s heart. Will the dog then get a chance at a real, inside home and family?

My Top Picks for Touching Valentines are as Follows:

Here are My Top Picks for “Tellin’ It Like It Is” Valentines:

And lastly, we get some truly gorgeous handmade Valentines by our crafty supporters. This is but a handful of the wonderful creations they’ve sent in over the past 12 years, and I wanted to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who has poured their hearts and souls into the making of these Valentines. It shows, and I hope they touch the hearts that receive them.